Be Kind.

For years now the last thing I tell my boys when they leave the house is to be kind. Of course, you need to do more than that in life, but being kind can lead to so much more. As a minority myself I know what it’s liked to be judged by my background and I would never want my boys to do that to someone else. Jon and I have tried very hard to make sure we are raising our boys to be open, kind, and a leader. Not a follower. We have always tried to be gender neutral at home, taught them about LGBT, and introduced them to race relations. It was actually only recently that they even realized that people came in different colors. They didn’t see it before. We try and explain that the world is full of many different people that look many different ways but on the inside, we are all the same. We should treat everyone how we want to be treated. For the most part, they get it and don’t understand why anyone would want to be mean to someone that looks different. I know it will get harder as they get older, but I’m hoping that we have given them a good enough background so they have that little voice in their head that makes them do the right thing. But after this past week, I know I need to do more to help.

I have the privilege of looking white. Actually, even the US census considers me to be white. My Hispanic background in their eyes is an ethnicity, not a race. That has not stopped the constant jokes in school that my family must be in the drug business since we are Colombian or assumptions that my parents came from hut villages. I have heard it all and for the most part, I have stood up to people when things have been said to me. What I have felt is only a fraction of what a black person must feel. I can’t imagine being black and having to tell my kids how to behave if a cop approaches them or feeling nervous to walk around a neighborhood by myself. I can’t get the words, “I CAN’T BREATH” out of my head. I’m sad, I’m angry, and honestly, I can’t believe we are still dealing with things like this. It feels like we went back in time.

It took me a while to process my feelings and decide if I was going to say something on social media (blog/instagram/etc). This is supposed to be a happy place where people can go for a dose of pretty and escape the real world. Also, there are people that are way more qualified than me to be talking about this. However, staying quiet gives the impression that you are not affected by what happened or worse yet, you are okay with it. So, I decided to speak out loud and get political and share my feelings.

So, how can you be an ally and help? DO SOMETHING

Speak Up: I don’t mean just posting about it on social media. I mean when you are put in a situation where a racist comment, joke, etc is made be that person that calls someone out on it. This is something I need to get better about. When it’s speaking up to a stranger I typically have no problem calling them out, but when it comes to family it’s trickier. I have to remember that there is no need to be mean about it. A simple, “Hey you might not realize it but what you are saying/doing is racist.” I think something as simple as that would make people think before speaking.

Sign a Petition: Currently, we are all a buzz with George Floyd, but there are many other petitions you can sign and they take seconds to do and require nothing else from you.

Justice for George Floyd
Defund the Police
Justice for Breonna Taylor

There are over 160 pages on Change.org full of petitions you can sign that have to do with Black Lives Matter causes.

Don’t change the narrative: Yes everyone matters. We know that in a perfect world all lives matter, but currently the group that is hurting is the black community. Their lives are at risk. Just because we are amplifying that, doesn’t mean that no one else matters.

“There is no right way to protest because that’s what protest is. It can’t be considered “right” by the system that it’s protesting.” – Trevor Noah – The Daily Show

Yes, it’s awful that stores are getting looted and cities are getting destroyed, but there is a way to address that and still be an ally. Instead of saying, “It’s horrible that an innocent black man was killed, but destroying property has to stop.” Try saying, ” It’s horrible that property is being destroyed, but killing innocent black men has to stop.”

Support a Black business: For the past couple of years, I have been trying to shop small. Why give all of my money to Amazon when for a small business owner it will make more of an impact. I always try to share the sources I find and love. Now I’m going to focus even more and spread the love and women on businesses that are owned by Blacks, POC, and minorities. Here is an amazing document with Black-owned businesses owned broken down by category.

Put your money where your mouth is and donate! There are so many organizations that are in need of support:

Black Lives Matter
Campaign Zero
NAACP
Liberty Fund
Facing History
Bail Project

At the end of the day, I’m in no way an expert on this topic, and while I try my best, I know I have done things that are racist. At the moment did I realize it? No, but I do now. The one main situation I keep going back to is our desire to get out of our last home/school district and get into a better school district. For us, we were just concerned that if we stayed in our old house our kids would have to go to a school district with a really low ranking. That schools’ population is mainly Black. Did I care that my boys would be going to school with them based on race? No, but I was concerned about the district ranking low, not having enough funding, and the student population being of a lower economic status. I wanted the best for my kids and that wasn’t is. I wasn’t trying to be racist at all, but there it was.

I think this video does a great job of explaining systematic racism and it’s what made me realize what I had done with my school district situation.

Hopefully, this post will give you a little something to think about it. I’m totally open to hearing new ways that I can help be a better ally. If you are a Latina/Latino I would love to hear how you feel about Black Lives Matter. I’m really hoping this is a springboard for all minorities to be treated better, but I do understand how important the cause is for the Black movement at this time.

An amazing follower on Instagram sent me this google doc and it’s a wealth of information. If you want to learn more I would talk some time to go through all of the sources.